The Dream

(This is dedicated to Maha and Shamoussa, with my deep love)
(Adapted from the original script written on 1997)

She was sitting in the same place she sat at every time she came here. And there he stood, far away from her, like a shining star in a clear night. She was watching him with great admiration, like everyone else. He was “perfect”. They all liked him however no one liked him as she did. She adored him. He was everything to her.
She knew well he doesn’t know her, he even doesn’t notice her. How could he through all these people? It was her dream that one day he would notice her and come down from where he was and talk to her. But it was just a dream as it was not possible, as long as she was sitting in a place like hers. But she couldn’t afford more than that. She had to be thankful, that was much better than nothing at all. She was satisfied to see him every night for three hours. It was enough for her to enjoy his company, even knowing that to him she doesn’t exist. He was great, she knew it. The applauding and cheers, she was hearing said so. She dreamt he would be talking to her. But it was a dream, her favorite, which would never happen, not after a million years. How could someone like him notice someone like her? It would never happen.
“I love you,” he cried.
She knew the sentence wasn’t for her, but she pretended it was and answered it simply in a whisper.
“I love you too.”
She wished he could hear her. But it was a dream, which will never come true.
It was over now and everybody was gone. If he only could appear once, just to tell him goodbye and have one of his great smiles. But how?! He must have left now. She felt so lonely and terribly sad. Yet she was still dreaming about him.
A hand touched her shoulder.
She turned around.
Then she saw him. It was him.
She was not dreaming but she couldn’t believe her eyes.
It must be a mistake.
“I know you,” he said. “You come here every night to watch the performance. You must like it very much. I’d like to know you a little better. Would you like to have dinner with me?”
And how could she say no?! That was her dream, which was coming true.
***************************************************
“What’s wrong my dear? You have been acting very weird lately?”
He asked her one night as they were having dinner outside. She stared at him for a while and thought of the time that has passed.
They have been together for quite a while. In the beginning, it was perfect. Everything she ever wanted or dreamt of was coming true. Everyone envied her for having him, as he was funny, responsible, so loving and caring in addition to a great social character. Simply everyone said he was “Perfect” and the more she knew him the more she realized it and grew more dependent on him. Slowly she started to lose her powers to judge. Anything that needed decision, however small it was, she had to run to him for advice and the more she asked for his advice, the more she lost her independence. Then she started to realize that she is not as smart, reliable or as perfect as he is. In public, she would be having a great conversation with everyone until he showed up and then a weird silence would land on her, as if she had lost the power to speak. Inside, she was always afraid, afraid of making a mistake while she is around him as she didn’t want anyone and especially him, to think of her as his inferior. So she preferred to stay silent.
“Please sir, would you give us your signature?”
A group of ladies stood by the table with pieces of paper and pens.
Being popular had its disadvantage, one of which he was always surrounded by others. This in turn reflected on her as she became more and more alone. It wasn’t the lonesome that annoyed her because she had been used to it before she met him, but more her dependence on him, like a drug addict who can’t live without his doses. Even when she tried to break free and become independent, the smallest pit she faced, made her panic so bad that she would run with all what was left in her strength to his shelter, to find peace.
“Is everything ok?” he asked her again when he was done with the signatures. “I’m sorry dear. I know this bothers you. I promise next time we go out, I’ll try to pick up a more private place.”
She nodded.
She was not bothered by the signatures and in fact he acted really great concerning that matter and others too. She was more bothered by herself, her identity which she seemed to have lost somewhere and she could not tell where.
****************************************************
“But why?” her friend asked her one day.
“To be myself again.” She said.
“But he is not as perfect as you think. You only see him like this because you love him.”
She was not sure whether it was true or not. She had always seen him as perfect and as her dream. But she could no longer take it. It was something about his perfection that was sucking her spirit away from her, leaving her as an amorphous creature. It reminded her of the story of the butterfly that was so attracted to the sun’s light that it kept getting closer and closer till it got burnt and died. Well she will not wait till she dies like the butterfly. She loved the sunlight but she definitely had the courage to stay away from its heat.
“It is over between us,” she told her friend with more determination than she ever had. She knew she was going to suffer through the process until she regained herself back. But she didn’t care. She knew she was a survivor, reality as well as her previous life told her so and she would definitely stay as one. As for him, her dream, that was just one of the millions she had, one that was not meant to be.